


Something isn't right, Babe

by oceantears



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Character, Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Asexuality, Aziraphale is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Healthy Relationships, Insecure Crowley (Good Omens), Insecurity, Internalized Acephobia, Kissing, Love, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-06-02 22:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19450423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceantears/pseuds/oceantears
Summary: Aziraphale has avoided Crowley since their last date, their third one to be exact.-Aziraphale thinks that he has quite a good reason for that - he is incomplete after all and how could Crowely love someome asbrokenas him?Crowley just wants Aziraphale to understand that there isnothingwrong with him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Will I ever stop writing asexuality!fics for this fandom? Probably not. :)  
> English isn't my first language, please tell me where I made mistakes!
> 
> Title is taken from Hozier's "Sedated"
> 
> There'll be another chapter from Aziraphale's POV, but for now, I hope you enjoy this one!!

Crowley had Aziraphale pressed against the wall of his bedroom.  
They were kissing and had been doing so for the past half-hour and Crowley was pretty sure that he had never been happier than now, as he nipped at Aziraphale's bottom lip. The angel shuddered and Crowley allowed himself a grin.

He had not thought that they'd ever get that far - they were _kissing_ for Someone's sake and it did not seem as if they were about to stop any time soon.  
Crowley wasn't quite sure if they would go much further, but that was just fine with him. He had never been too big a fan of the more physical side of love, anyways, preferring to let the humans do that job.

He couldn't imagine that Aziraphale would be to eager to try that particular part of seduction, either, but who knew - the angel had already surprised him often enough that Crowley did not rule that thought out entirely. He'd be willing to try it, he thought, if Aziraphale wanted to. It might just be interesting, seeing what all that talk was about. And if he did not end up liking it, well, he thought they'd cetrainly be able to figure something out.  
For now, he was just happy to have Aziraphale here, close to him, with the angel's lips on his own. 

Crowley deepened the kiss a little and felt Aziraphale hum happily. He flicked his tongue over the angel's bottom lip, once, twice and Aziraphale's hands tightened their grip on his hair in response.  
The angel gave a small shudder and Crowley grinned. 

But apparently, they had become too accustomed to their human bodies because after a few more seconds, Aziraphale drew away and sucked in a breath of air.  
Crowley watched him, smiling.  
"Well," said Aziraphale, "that was... something, my dear."  
Crowley nodded in agreement, a smile playing about his mouth.  
"I'd say," continued the angel, "that we have to do that more often."

Crowley nodded again and his grin broadened.  
"Absolutely on your side there, angel. What about right now?"  
Aziraphale smiled but shook his head and Crowley managed to keep his sliver of disappointment at bay.  
But even that was short-lived as Aziraphale took his hand and lead him to the sofa, where they both sat down, Aziraphale's whole body pressed against Crowley's, his head tucked under the demon's chin.  
Crowley let out a shaky breath.  
_Oh._  
That was so much better than expected. 

He leaned back and closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of his angel next to him.  
-

It happened more and more often, after that. Now, Crowley and Aziraphale kissed at least once whenever they met, be it a quick peck on the cheek or full-on snogging, and to Crowley, it was _glorious._

Although Aziraphale rarely was the one to initiate kissing, it was clear that the angel enjoyed it just as much as Crowley did.  
He was, as it seemed, especially fond of small, gentle kisses, which Crowley was happy to provide.  
So far, they had not done anything more than kissing. Aziraphale hadn't expressed any desire to do more than that, something with which Crowley had absolutely no problem with. He assumed that Aziraphale was the same as him in this regard - they both lacked an interest in sex, and that was fine.

\--

Apparently, it wasn't fine.

Aziraphale had begun avoiding Crowley after their last kissing-session.  
Now, Crowley knew that he was partially to blame for that but that didn't mean that his angel could simply ignore him just because of one little mishap.

So yes, he might have offended the angel by ordering the wrong wine for them and afterwards, kissing with a forked tongue had maybe not been the _best_ idea, but Crowley did think that the angel was overreacting quite a bit.

Nevertheless, because Crowley was Crowley, he found himself in front of the angel's bookshop at quarter past two in the night.

He had come here with the intention of apologising and maybe teasing the angel a little about his wine-preferences, but all his plans went flying out the window as Aziraphale opened the door.

He had been _crying._  
Crowley hadn't seen his friend have such a strong reaction to anything in the past few hundred years and was more than a little surprised as he took in Aziraphale's red eyes and runny nose.

Aziraphale, in turn, managed to look surprised at seeing his friend on the other side of the door. (How, was unfathomable for Crowley - he definitely doubted that _anyone_ but him would come to the bookstore, much less in the middle of the night.)  
Aziraphale offered his friend a weak smile and stepped aside to let him in before either of them had even said anything. 

Once inside, Aziraphale prepared some tea in fine china cups, before sitting down on the sofa, his eyes studiously avoiding Crowley's.  
For a few moments, both of them were quiet, Crowley worrying about what to say. His prepared apology would definitely not do suffice anymore, not with the way Aziraphale looked. Crowley cursed himself quietly.  
Had he realised that his angel had been so upset by his actions the other day, he never would have left him without apologising.

Just as Crowley had gathered up the courage to speak, Aziraphale began in a rather quiet voice.

"I'm afraid I must apologise for worrying you, dear. And for behaving that queerly on our last, ah, meeting. So, I'm sorry. For scaring you or upsetting you. That was never my intention."

Aziraphale attempted a shaky smile, which Crowley reciprocated promptly, if confused.

What the Heavens was Aziraphale talking about?

"I appreciate your apology, angel, but I'm not quite sure what you're apologising for. You did nothing wrong, if anything I should be the one apologising. I mean, I don't totally understand what had you so mad about me ordering the wrong wine, but I do get that kissing me when my tongue is, ah, _uncooperative_ might not have been the best feeling. So I do understand you being mad about that and I came to tell you that I'll try control it a little better in the future."

Crowley offered what he hoped was a reassuring smile, which apparently was not reassuring at all, judging from Aziraphale's astonished look.

"You think this is about the wine? Or you _tongue_? Dear, you've got it all wrong!"

Surprised, Crowley raised his eyebrows and watched as Aziraphale nearly managed to knock over his tea cup as the angel bent forward, closer to Crowley. 

"Love, this has nothing to do with either of those two things. I didn't mind the wrong wine order and really, when has your tongue ever bothered me? It was actually," and here he flushed, "quite pleasant like this. No, I was upset because of something else, you had nothing to do with it and I'm sorry if I made you think you did."

Crowley felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He had been dreading the angel's anwer more than he had wanted to admit and was relieved that Aziraphale was not angry with him at all, as it seemed.  
But that still left some questions unanswered...

"I'm glad to hear that, angel. But I still don't know what made you so upset in the first place. Care to share?"

At this, Crowley observed with some wonder how Aziraphale became fidgety, avoiding his friend's eyes and toying with his tie. He picked up the porcelain cup but set it down again almost immediately, without drinking anything. 

"It's silly, love, it really is. It's just, it was our third official date and I was accordingly nervous. Because I... I didn't really, I mean I don't-"  
Aziraphale took a frustrated breath before continuing, if possible, even more quietly than before.  
"I am slightly broken, Crowley." 

Crowley, who had become worried at the sad look on his friend's face, stood up from his chair, walked around the coffee table and bent to hug his angel.

"Now," he said, soothingly if still confused, "I know for a fact that you aren't broken, angel, no matter what you might think. So where is the problem?"

At this, Aziraphale detached himself from Crowley with a helpless look on his face. "Here! I am the problem, Crowley, can't you see that? I'm all wrong and incomplete and _broken_ and can't even give you what you deserve!"

Crowley sat down on the sofa pressing his side to the angel's, taking his hand.  
"What do you mean? What do you think you can't give me? I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific because I don't really quite understand what you mean, angel. But I know that you're not a problem, okay? Whatever you're about to say, there's _nothing_ wrong with you, angel. Not a single thing."

Aziraphale smiled but sniffled a bit, still avoiding Crowley's eyes. Instead, he stared intently at the porcellain cups on the table as he spoke.

"Did you know that some humans have a strange sort of tradition concerning dates? Many of them hold the belief that it is... appropiate to sleep with one's partner after the third date. Or expected, really. And seeing as we've both spent quite a lot of time around the humans, I thought that you might've adapted yourself well enough to participate in this tradition, as well. And because I was nervous about it, since I well, I _did not_ want to sleep with you on our third date, I might have reacted a bit strongly to minor inconveniences, such as the wine thing. And I'm sorry, I simply was worried about maybe not living up to your expectations since I didn't want to, uh, get intimate." 

Crowley's hands itched to draw his angel close as soon as he had finished. Aziraphale still had a slightly nervous look on his face, mixed with guilt and Crowley couldn't stand it.

"Come here, angel," he said and pulled his friend into an awkward side-hug.  
He couldn't believe Aziraphale had worried that much over some stupid human tradition. Really, Crowley ought to feel insulted that his friend expected that little from him.  
But the demon knew better than to voice those thoughts, as he was sure that they'd only serve to upset Aziraphale further. Instead, he squeezed the angel one more time before releasing him.

"Angel, what you just told me is absolutely fine. It's a weird, pointless human tradition which I'm quite happy to ignore. It's _fine_ if you don't want to have sex after the third date or the fourteenth or the fiftieth. I'm willing to wait as long as you need me to, until you're ready." 

Contrary to what Crowley had expected, Aziraphale looked even more miserable at his words than he had previously been.  
Before the angel could start worrying himself sick again, Crowley interrupted the angel's thoughts.

"What did I miss? Did I say something wrong?"

Aziraphale shook his head.  
"No, nothing wrong. It's just... What if you wait forever? What if I'll never be ready?"

Aziraphale's breath picked up in speed.

"Because, you know Crowley, it disgusts me, this whole sex thing. I don't enjoy the thought of it, can barely stand it - I simply don't get it, I never did and I guess it's probably important for you and I can't, I just can't give you that, I simply _can't_ and you're going to get frustrated with me after a while an you'll leave and I'm so, so _sorry_."

"Oh, _angel_." Crowley watched as tears formed in Aziraphale's eyes and he hugged his friend closer, conjuring a handkerchief.  
"That is fine as well, love. I promise, there's nothing wrong with you, you are _not_ broken. I am absolutely fine with you not wanting sex or anything like that, do you understand? It is _fine_ , I promise. To be totally honest, I never understood that part of the human concept of love, anyways."

Aziraphale, who had buried his head in Crowley's shoulder, looked up at his friend.  
"Is it really? I don't want to take something like that away from you. I know that the humans think that sex is important and I don't want to deny you-" 

Crowley interrupted him gently.  
"But I'm not human, love. I don't care about it, and while I'm not repulsed, as you are, I am absolutely content with just holding and kissing you. That is," he added as an afterthought, "if that is alright with you. Please tell me if it isn't, I really don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Aziraphale shook his head.  
"I love kissing and cuddling you, dear. I don't think I enjoy anything more than that in this world."

Crowley gave a smile at this.

"Not even Crepes?"

Aziraphale huffed a laugh and Crowley was glad to see that his sad expression had been replaced by one of hesitant relief. 

"No, love. Not even Crepes."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the second chapter! I'm so sorry for the long wait!!  
> We've got a few more misunderstandings, some hurt Aziraphale and of course, a dash of angst, followed by hurt/comfort.  
> I hope you enjoy this and thank you all for the kudos and lovely comments on the first chapter! <3

For a while, things went swimmingly between them.  
At first, the both of them had waited a bit before going on any other official dates, not wanting an awkward atmosphere to build. Personally, Crowley couldn't have cared less but it had seemed to make Aziraphale happy, and really, there was no harm in delaying their next date a little. After all they still spent time together - on walks through the park, in the bookshop or while dining in various restaruants (just not at the Ritz - it had been chosen for dates months ago). All those meetings were lovely in their own right and Crowley found that he didn't mind the purely friendly atmosphere. After all, this was what they had been doing for centuries before they had started dating, and spending a non-romantic evening with Aziraphale was definitely no hardship. 

About three weeks had gone by that way until they had slowly found their way back to their old rhythm - dates as well as meetings that were not specifically labelled as "romantic". They kept a pretty good balance, Crowley thought and Aziraphale also seemed happy with their current arrangement.

It had taken a while for them to kiss again after their Talk, and the first time, Aziraphale had initiated it. Crowley had been afraid of making the angel uncomfortable by kissing him too soon, but had been pleasantly surprised when Aziraphale had kissed him on his own account. 

Still, Crowley held himself back whenever they kissed. He did not want Aziraphale to feel pressured in any way and therefore, he kept their kisses short and gentle.

Whenever they'd kiss, Crowley gave his best to break the kiss off after some minutes, not wanting to send the wrong message. He was careful not to deepen their kisses too often and refrained from kissing Aziraphale in the bedroom or against a wall, lest the angel got the wrong impression. 

Of course Crowley missed their longer, deeper kisses, the one that had sated some desire deep inside him. Of course there were times where he wanted nothing more than to lie down in his or Aziraphale's bed, spending the night cuddling and kissing.  
But he didn't.  
He didn't because he didn't want to make Aziraphale uncomfortable. Crowley was careful not to pressure his angel into doing anything he didn't want to, was careful not to go too far when they were kissing. And if that meant holding himself back a little more than he wanted to, well, then that was fine, too.

\--

Aziraphale had grown frustrated with Crowley's behaviour over the past few weeks. They had just started falling back into their old rhythm and Aziraphale had thought that things had been splendid between them, but apparently, he had been wrong.  
Apparently, his confession, his coming-out to Crowley had affected the demon more than he admitted.  
Apparently, Crowley _did_ mind the thought that all this would never lead to anything else than kissing, would never amount to anything.  
Apparently, Aziraphale was not enough for Crowley.

It had taken the angel a while to realise this, but when he had, it had _hurt_. He had thought that things were fine between them - not perfect maybe, Aziraphale had figured that there would be a certain period in which things would be... awkward between them, but this was simply ridiculous.

Aziraphale wasn't stupid.  
He had noticed that Crowley did indeed mind his asexuality, had noticed that Crowley held himself back a lot, that the demon barely touched him anymore.  
And quite frankly, Aziraphale was getting sick of it.

It would not have been as bad, he mused, had Crowley just _said_ something. Had he told him that he couldn't continue this relationship because they would never sleep with each other, it would have hurt, undoubtedly. But that would have been infinitely better than having Crowley try and pretend as if everything were fine, as if nothing had happened. As if Aziraphale's asexuality didn't bother him at all.

Liar.

Aziraphale could barely stand it anymore, this situation they had gotten themselves in. And because he was not the angel to sit back and wait, he decided to take matters into his own hand.  
The next time Crowley came over, he would tell him that there was no need to continue this little charade. He would tell Crowley that they could break this whole thing off, if Crowley wanted to. He would tell him, decided Aziraphale, no matter how much it would hurt. (A lot. It would hurt a lot. But it would be worth it, in the end - wouldn't it?)

\--

They were walking home from the park, having fed the ducks, and Crowley couldn't shake the feeling that something was utterly, terribly wrong.  
Aziraphale had behaved weirdly, he had been stiff and had _flinched_ when Crowley had tried to touch him. Crowley was worried, to say the least. Had he pushed Aziraphale too far? Had he made him uncomfortable, had he given his angel the wrong impression?  


Those thoughts ran circles inside Crowley's head on their way back to the bookshop.  
He had been so careful, damnit. He had tried his best not to pressure his angel, but apparently, he had managed to mess up, anyways. How exactly, he had no clue. But he'd be blessed if he didn't try his best to aplogise and rectify his mistakes- whatever it may have been.

Crowley was a little surprised when he noticed that they had already arrived at Aziraphale's flat. Apparently, he had been deeper in his head than he had realised.  
Crowley watched as Aziraphale prepared and served tea, before taking a seat on the sofa - with quite some distance between them. He suppressed a frown.  
Before Crowley could ask what he had done wrong or say anything at all, Aziraphale spoke up, his voice quieter than normally and refusing to meet Crowley's eyes. 

"I think we should... break this off, my dear. It is obvious that you aren't happy with me being the way I am and this charade of yours is... hurtful, to say the least. I..."  
Aziraphale took a deep breath and looked at Crowley for the first time since he had started talking.  
"I understand if you want to discontinue our relationship, I understand that this is not what you expected when we started it. But please just tell me so. Stop pretending that what we have right now is enough for you, because it obviously isn't. Just tell me if you want to break up instead of acting as if I am what you want."  
Aziraphale took another deep breath and averted his eyes.

"I understand that I am... lacking in some regards and if you do not want a relationship with me because of that, that is understandable. But please Crowley, please say so instead of acting as if everything were alright."

Aziraphale's shoulders slumped when he had stopped speaking, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of him.  
He looked small like this, delicate and fragile. Crowley hated that look on his angel.

"You've got it all wrong!" he blurted out, panic rising up in him. How had he messed up so badly? Aziraphale had misunderstood everything Crowley had done in order not to pressure him. And now he thought that Crowley wanted to _break up with him_? He thought that Crowley wasn't happy with what they had - as if Aziraphale really had no idea that he was everything Crowley had ever whished for, and more.

"You've got it all wrong, angel." repeated Crowley, this time more softly.  
"I definitely, _definitely_ do not want to break up with you, I would never even dream of doing that. I love you, angel. And I apparently made some very stupid decisions if you think that you aren't enough for me. I swear, you _are._ You are more than enough, angel. And I'm sorry I made you think you weren't."

Crowley, who had moved closer to Aziraphale during his little speech, squeezed the angel's hand. Aziraphale looked a bit shocked, as if he couldn't quite believe what Crowley had just said. He wouldn't blame him for it, thought Crowley. After all, Aziraphale had apparently misunderstood the situation gravely.

"You love me?"

Crowley's breath hitched at Aziraphale's hesitant, unsure tone if voice. Had his angel somehow _not_ been aware of that? As far as Crowley was concerned, he practically radiated love, surely Aziraphale must have noticed that by now - he was an angel, after all. But, if Crowley was interpreting Aziraphale's expression correctly, his angel hadn't noticed it.

"Of course I do, angel," Crowley said softly.  
"I love you more than anything, really. And as I said, the only reason I've kept my distance these past few weeks, was that I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. But that plan seems to have backfired spectacularly."  
Crowley grimaced.

To his surprise, Aziraphale laughed at that, a short, surprised laugh.

"It backfired indeed. I appreciate that you tried to be mindful, really, I do, but please be assured that I am quite capable of telling you myself when I feel uncomfortable. If something we do becomes too much for me, I'll tell you. I promise."

Crowley hummed and nodded.  
Aziraphale was right - he was perfectly capable of telling Crowley if he did something unwanted.

"Sorry, angel. I know that you can tell me yourself, obviously. I was just afraid of messing things up so soon after you told me you didn't want sex. I was afraid that I would send the wrong message."

Aziraphale smiled gently.  
"You did, love, but probably not in the way you thought you would. But it is alright - I understand where you were coming from. Just don't do it again, you hear? I hated the thought of having to end out relationship." 

Crowley nodded firmly.  
"I'm sorry. I should have asked what you are comfortable with instead of just assuming."

Aziraphale smiled and scooted over to Crowley.

"Yes, you should have. And I'll tell you what I want and don't want soon, I promise. And now move your arm, love, I want to hold you."

Crowley smiled and complied, holding the angel to his side.  
Aziraphale hummed and snuggled closer, his eyes closing slowly. He felt warm and safe here, next to Crowley.

"Oh, and Crowley, love?"

"Mhm?"

"I love you, too."


End file.
